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#6811
Graham Middleton
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LEXOPHILIA – WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

Why, a lexophile of course!

� How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

� Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

� A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

� I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

� Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes

� England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

� I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

� They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

� I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

� Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

� I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

� I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

� This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

� When chemists die, they barium.

� I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

� I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

� Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

� I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

� Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

� When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

� Broken pencils are pointless.

� What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

� I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

� All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

� I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

� Velcro – what a rip off!

� Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last