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#6811
Graham Middleton
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    LEXOPHILIA – WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?

    Why, a lexophile of course!

    � How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

    � Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

    � A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

    � I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    � Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes

    � England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

    � I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

    � They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

    � I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

    � Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    � I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

    � I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

    � This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

    � When chemists die, they barium.

    � I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

    � I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

    � Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

    � I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    � Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

    � When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

    � Broken pencils are pointless.

    � What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    � I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    � All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

    � I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    � Velcro – what a rip off!

    � Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last